My brother had a Transformer toy by Hasbro when we were little. It was 8 inches tall and if you pushed the little red button its chest it would say in its robot voice "I am Optimus Prime". I took me a long time to be able to understand what he was saying. I never knew the story of the toy line, and I'm still not sure if this movie is based on the toys or a comic book that preceded the toys or what. All I know is that there is an Optimus Prime. And now I know he's a good guy. Somehow that makes me happy.
In any case, the movie is the story of a guy (Sam) and the girl that he fancies at the moment. Sam buys a car which happens to be a robot, and one day while the car is driving itself, he picks up the girl to give her a ride home. From that point on, they are involved in an intergallactic battle between the Autobots (the good guys -- like Optimus Prime!) and the Decepticons (the bad guys. Boo.) Both the Autobots and the Decepticons want to find The Cube, which is a powerful energy source that turns anything technology hooked up to it into a whacko killing machine. Along the way, there is a hide-and-go-seek game between robots and parents, a chihuahua on painkillers, show and tell about a great grandfather's escapades in the Arctic Circle, and a make-out session on the hood of a robot named Bumblebee. Don't worry, it all makes sense.
The first 57 minutes had me fidgeting in ways I haven't done lately. Hadn't noticed the dust in that corner. What exactly is on that magazine article sticking out of the garbage? But, man, when the 58th minute ticked, I laughed for the first time and then it all started to come together.
After all that, I have only one question (don't worry, I won't even try to touch any technology-based question): Why, when the aliens are speaking, are there subtitles in alien writing? I know they follow it up immediately with English, but why the subtitles? Are they hoping for a Tolkien-like following. Perhaps linguists around the globe will head out and write textbooks about how to understand and communicate in this alien language? Honestly, I'm curious.
How many Vinni Pukhs will I rate this? Hmmm, maybe 2 and a butt? Then again, I did get some good laughs, and I had the most fun thinking about what I might write for this review. Maybe 3. If I'm feeling generous.
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